Ten years ago, I was drowning in overfunction, though it looked an awful lot like success.
I was climbing the ladder in my career as a marketing director and avoiding my discomfort about the pace in both my professional and personal life. And it looked good. I got a promotion at work. I was praised for being the ideal volunteer (you know the one). Our family was doing “okay” even though our disfunction leaked out from time to time. We distracted ourselves by going even faster than before. Then I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child, and instead of joy, I felt dread and overwhelm. There was simply no room for her in the ways we’d overfilled our lives.
And so we began unraveling our unsustainable pace one activity and commitment at a time. It was painful. I set new boundaries around schedules and relationships, and started disappointing a lot of people. But I stayed with myself, and that mattered more. Over time, I began exploring a sense of play and creativity I’d shelved for years. I rested, a true act of resistance after years of overfunction. I slowly recognized the feeling of peace and regulation. And other people began to recognize it in me, too. They asked me how I did it, and shared my story with small and larger audiences. And it grew, the curiosity. Women began to tell me that “no one is talking about this.” No one is giving women permission to slow down.
BASED at the foot of the blue ridge mountains in Charlottesville, Virginia
hi there,
i’m molly
WOMEN’S LIFE COACH & RETREAT HOST
And so in 2020, with a belief that change is possible for women in all stages, but especially in the middle third of life, I pursued a coaching certification from Erickson International. And in 2024 after a year of intense personal therapy, I received a certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care from The Allender Center at The Seattle School. I’m in my second certificate year now, and offer individual and group storywork to women in tandem with, or independently of, coaching.
A few years ago, a dear friend and I began to dream about what it could look like to gather women together and let them know they are deeply seen and supported—a seasonal women’s retreat was born. Now in our fourth year of hosting, dozens of women have attended TONIC + Bloom retreats and events, held at Glentivar Farm in Greenwood, Virginia.
Lived experience and professional expertise. A gift of listening and holding story well. A gentle approach that doesn’t force change, but invites it. It’s what sets me apart from other coaches and why I believe so deeply in what’s possible for us in relationship.
Who are we over time?
We need to know who we once were to know who we are becoming.
It’s all changing.
Our bodies are changing. Our relationships are changing. Our identities and roles are changing in our work and in our homes. We celebrate some changes, and grieve others. A marriage ends. A child starts kindergarten. We begin a new career. Our parents get older and require care. We relocate.
How we move through change is informed by our stories which informs our values, what matters most to us. You’ve probably been told to get into action—work the 5-step plan, set a goal, buy the masterclass—but you are constantly frustrated because you don’t reach the finish line. This is a bottom up approach, it’s sold by a LOT of coaches out there, and it’s ineffective.
The ontology of my approach to storywork is summed up best by William Faulkner’s quote, “The past isn’t dead. It’s not even past.” We need to know who we once were to know who we are becoming. My coaching philosophy is based on the Logical Levels of Learning and Change from anthropologist Gregory Bateson. We begin our coaching relationship at 30,000 feet, addressing vision, identity, beliefs and core values —rooted in story—and allow those to guide and inform how we move through change to experience the world. We spend time in inquiry, discovery and reflection before moving to action. And then we focus back in to get really granular and practical so you can attain sustained results.
We reserve judgment and choose curiosity and self-compassion instead. And we believe that nothing is wasted.
things that bring me delight
Pour-Over Coffee
Mid-Coast Maine
Sharp Ticonderoga Pencils
Spiritual Direction
That Just-Right Green
Morning Walks
Wild Beauty
My Laurel Denise Planner
My People
Baking Cakes
Testimonials
The What Matters Exercise
A New Way to Plan for the Week Ahead
Here’s the truth: to-do lists don’t work, at least not in the way we intend them to function. The reason is that lists aren’t weighted - they’re just a big brain dump on paper, and while you may get many daily to-do’s checked off, it’s often unclear whether they were the best use of your time.
Enter a new way to plan for your week that is weighted and measured: the What Matters Exercise.
RETREATS
The truth is that one day away isn’t going to solve your problems. It’s not going to magically eliminate the commitments on your calendar or make that tricky relationship easier. What it will do, what we’ve seen it do for so many of our retreat guests is offer breathing room. For clarity. For creativity. For belly laughs. For gathering around a table with no time table. For naps. For light living.
COACHING & STORY WORK
With nearly 300 hours of coursework from Erickson International and The Allender Center, I am a certified life and story coach helping women in both individual and group settings answer the questions: Who am I becoming over time? and What does the second half of life hold for me? It is my lived experience that the answers to those questions are deeply embodied.
on the blog
Ready to start your journey towards self-inquiry and discovery? Check out these resources to help you get started.
